To appease all the fast-paced, twitter-minded, brevity-seeking, economical folks out there, this blog post will be an exercise in the ultimate 21st century succinctness. The last week will be summarized in the following bullet points:

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• Sudeep’s barrel project allowed us to get intimate with a thermokarst lake…
• …and eaten alive by mosquitoes
• …the lake also broke both of Travis’ Chaco sandals
• …and also broke Max’s immune system
• We finally experienced the Russian tradition of the ‘banya’ (the barge is equipped with a wood-burning sauna/hot water heater/branding iron)

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• One of our back-of-barge-dangling outhouses fell victim to an unknown fate (toilet thief?)
• We had maybe five straight hotdog based meals
• Each hotdog comes individually wrapped to preserve all its juices
• Americans never tire of hotdogs
• Travis has been demoralized by his Russian chess opponents too many times…
• …apparently chess is a big deal here
• Golden Ceylon tea effectively disguises the hints of gasoline in the river water
• On our return trip from Duvannyi Yar, we enjoyed a few unintentional 360º views of our surroundings
• We also ran out of gas in the middle of the night. Twice.
• Our onboard Russian invalid Nickolay has been nicknamed Nick-coli, get it?
• Porridge can be served in many forms. Try it as a baked dish, with raisins!
• 4 guys + 1 (8’x8’) room + 2 weeks of poor hygiene = stanky livin’
• Thanks to constant bug-searching, Max has cataracts…
• …and Kayla has pinkeye
• Rumor has it, plywood and burlap bedding is not good for the spine

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• Local paper reads ‘Area man sets new record for single swat mosquitoe kill (13 in one leg slap)…
• …now john has dirty pants
• Everyone’s really pretty dirty, except our photographer Chris, he is well kempt
• Snoring is not muffled by half inch plywood
• It is best to swim upstream of the dangle-potties, excuse me, dangle-potty singular
• Our Russian bunk-mate enjoys waking up to Metallica phone alarms
• We do not enjoy waking up to Metallica phone alarms
• Teaching Kirill that “dank” is another word for “cool” has sparked some confusion
• Despite its unassuming appearance, the barge has become a black hole for numerous items…I think we’ve lost most of our flash drives

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• We learned the world’s fastest fire-building technique…all it took was some branches, a liter of gasoline, and a boat battery
• Ear plugs, vitamin c, deet, and peanut butter have all become tradable commodities
• Rhodamine dye is not equivalent to Kool-Aid
• Brian Kantor listens to the new Wilco album 5+ times every day
• Having no internet access for 3 days sent the Polaris Project into a tweet-less panic
• We only get our morning porridge if we complete our chores on time
• Our cook forbids socks in the kitchen
• Some stray nails on the barge have reined in our careless mosquito slapping
• The true ingredients of our breakfast ‘sour cream bake’ have yet to be uncovered
• Someone may be using all of our missing flash drives for barter to stock our seemingly endless chocolate supplies
• Nikita Zimov’s 3 year old daughter is arguably the cutest little kid on Earth
• Rumor has it other visiting scientists from the U.S. arrive at the station today. Our pungent aroma should not dispel them from our uncanny good looks
• When it comes to doing impromptu boat engine repairs, Dr. Zimov prefers wood sticks and a hammer.

by Travis and Max